paper bag history

I think that everyone needs a theme song and that everyone should be given free rolls of toilet paper when they get their taxes back.

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From the Paint Booths of Death Spray Custom and Garrett Chow

“From the paint-booths of @deathspray and @garrett_chow:

Hey Cycling-Industry! With the trade-show season upon us, it’s our guess that a great many in your employ are feeling the annual, dread pall of humiliation and embarrassment with your ‘little problem’: Shit Colors and Graphics, and weak product-offering. That twinge of, “oh fuck, I donno know — just make everything black, red, or white”. And, the tiresome, nagging itch of, “put three stripes on it, and call it a day”, needn’t be suffered nor endured any longer. These ‘strategies’ never hide the fact that your bikes are inane, open-tooling, off-the-shelf death-traps, anyway. And, no amount of voice-conferences, consultants, or Power-Point presentations will ever change this, either.

Adding insult to injury, the small company two booths over, who invested 1/23rd the cost of your ‘clever’ marketing-budget on their talented, appreciated and fairly-compensated designer (and not a color-blind engineer moon-lighting as your ‘de-facto design team’–the one with an iMac and a dog-eared back-issue of IdN Magazine on his desk), is literally KILLING your 2014 line-plan with one hand tied behind its back. Your self-congratulatory back-slapping echoing throughout the exhibit-hall–like so many floundering, dying fish gasping their last breaths–belies the fact that the death of our beautiful industry is precisely where your pedestrian products are taking us.